Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Wedding Plans

In personal news, Mary has been more seriously planning our wedding, and started wanting it to be more traditional. She called a planning service, and they told her that their traditional weddings generally range from 8k-20k, and that they charge 10% to help plan/coordinate everything. The 8k plan is the bare-bones plan.

I do consider it an extremely special occasion. I do think it is important for friends and family to be there. I do think it is an occasion that we will remember forever, and should be done the way we want it. But 8k+? I think I speak for most guys when I say "fuck that".

Do weddings with 1000$ cakes and multi-thousand-dollar-dresses produce more successful marriages? Are these things necessary to announce your love for another person? Why are most American marriages so incredibly similar? There is no way that the image of a white blushing bride and her tuxedo-ed groom walking out of a church can be the dream of every person in America. The traditional wedding is a freaking religious ceremony, and a big business.

As the one paying for the occasion, I set a limit to 5k$ for wedding expenses. I honestly thought that it was a pretty generous budget. How ridiculous is it to spend 8k+ on a wedding? Compared to most people in my town, I am pretty damn well off, and I still consider spending 8k+ on a wedding outrageous. I'm too lazy to check the source, but I'm fairly sure the #1 cause of divorce is financial problems. Unaffordable weddings, rings, etc. just seem like a formula for failure...which eventually would lead to another wedding (or 2). And so the American business of marriage and divorce keeps churning. Ok, rant over.

I'm still strongly pushing for a non-traditional wedding. Nice, but modest. Get married. Eat dinner. Get our friends and family wasted. Enjoy the night.

As an interesting side note, we are ordaining Dan Berry (friend, and my namesake) and he will be doing the ceremony. Apparently you can ordain anybody, including animals. I really like this idea :)

1 comment:

J-bird said...

Coming from someone who recently got married, had a kid, etc.....I feel your pain. But, 8K is fairly standard. The dress is usually 400-1000, and thats the low end. Unfortunately, there's not much choice for you when it comes to the dress budget, it's just something they know they have to have once they get it on. The ceremony itself can vary, but many Grooms (that aren't cheapasses) pay for their Groomsman tuxes (50-100 each), and the pastor or judge is like 100, and if you use a church, theres about 500 worth of rentals and janitorial fees. Singer 100. Gifts for the wedding party and Flower girl dresss 2-400. Limo? 200. Photographer 2-4K, and then comes the reception (which is the most important!). Don't be cheap here. Get decent food..not the cheap ham sandwiches and crap. And get a good Location...one that can house a sweet party. And buy a couple kegs for people, but have a cash bar there for mixed drinks. All in all, expect to spend 3-5K on a standard reception. And then...take a sweet honeymoon to an all-inclusive resort somewhere (3K).

Just a part of life, bro...gotta do it.

(PS--i didn't even cover the cost of announcements and flowers and thankyous and stamps....and decorations...)